It's Monday... again - somehow it snuck up on me and I can't deny I'm dragging a bit today. However I had a great past few days celebrating my first Christmas as a Mr + Mrs and I'm reflecting on those moments when Monday tries to pull me down. Now December 26th.. that day was a doozy. I had another creative put down my work on my Instagram account and then dismiss me like my opinion was nothing. FLOORED y'all... FLOORED.
So I'm sitting at the nail salon getting the weird SNS manicure taken off of my nails, since courtesy of my horse they are destroyed. Further proof no nail polish is up to the challenge of my grey gelding and his affinity for mud. I've just posted a photo to my Instagram account of a beautiful bride from this winter. The likes are flying in and I'm blushing almost as much as the beautiful bride. Then comes a comment. So I use my knuckle to unlock the iPhone and this new comment. Much to my surprise it's a comment on a previous picture of a boudoir client and it's not nice y'all - and I quote "Why would you post such beautiful photos and then post a photo of someone's ASS. Then say her husband is going to have a great christmas? Maybe HER husband doesn't want HIS wife's ass all over social media..." Guys I was shocked and appalled and trapped. Here I am fingers wrapped in tin foil and I am STEWING mad. Mad enough to spit nails and chew tar, or something like that.
So I sit there and stew for a moment since I'm trapped - then I show the comment to my manicurist and ask her if she can free my right hand so I can respond. She does - while also inquiring about doing a boudoir shoot herself (suck it mean creative person.) So I respond: "(Insert mean persons name) Wow you are quite presumptuous aren't you? First - by being dismissive of my work and this photo you're saying my art is not as valid or as worthwhile as yours. How Dare You. Second - by being dismissive and negative about this women's body you as a woman are putting down the beauty of another woman. I firmly believe that every part of a woman is beautiful and deserves to be celebrated. This client cried when she saw her images and LOVED this photo. Third - I of course get permission from each client to post their images to social media. It's in my contract and they knowingly consent. Much less this client and her husband wrote me and told me to PLEASE use her images in my portfolio. They are more than happy to have her promote MY brand. Lastly - boudoir is a very large part of my business and therefore I will promote MY brand however I see fit. Thank You." Then I high fived my manicurist and we got back to making my nails not look so haggard.
Fast forward 4 HOURS - to this petty small minded reply: "I do not have time to read your entire reply. Arguing online is pointless and a waste of time. I'm just saying your other work is beautiful you don't have to promote sex to do good work." She then blocks me from seeing her Instagram feed like I'm going to somehow go on there and be childish and put down her work. I'm not a child and I'm not petty. BUT she absolutely without a doubt is.
So I screenshot it all and delete the comments from the photo because my Instagram feed will be full of happiness and pretty things dammit. However I would like to state she most definitely read my reply - but for her to say she didn't have a measly 30 seconds to read it is pretty terrible of her. Because she had the audacity to make a comment on my work which I politely responded to - she then felt it necessary to be dismissive of my reply to defend my work. That's pretty terrible of her as a creative to not only put down my work but to put down my feelings of worth on my work. Shame on her as a creative, fellow woman, boss lady, mother, and her extremely self-promoting christian self.
As fellow creatives we should be encouraging one another, as christians we should not be casting stones, as women we should embrace the beauty of each other. We should not as creatives, women, self-promoting christians, and fellow photographers make nasty comments on one another's work. Much less be dismissive of someone's art and their justification of their art. Would I do this to her? Absolutely not. Do I want to... absolutely not. Will I forget she did this and ever recommend her to another creative, vendor, bride - hell no.
So when someone is dismissive of your work, your opinion, and your little bit of perfect. Give back a valid and polite reply and let it go - but when they still are nasty to you remember it. Then screenshot everything because the internet is forever and she can't ever take it back and I can prove it.