First things congrats you're engaged! Yay! Secondly step away from the Barnes & Noble wedding planning aisle. Seriously - back away.
Getting engaged is extremely overwhelming and obviously very wonderful. I am recently engaged and honestly it was terrifying, not because I don't love my fiance but because instantly people ask you "When's the date?" Truly , our waiter at dinner asked us and we'd only been engaged for 30 minutes. We spouted off some October 17, 2015 crap. Right like that even came close to what we settled on. So here are my 5 tips on what not to do after you're engaged.
- DO NOT SET A DATE. You may have known for years what month and even what day you'd like to get married. Don't say it and don't write it down. Wait until you've fallen in love with a Venue. I fell in love with my venue instantly but my Matron of Honor is a wedding photographer and she was booked all the weekends in October except the 31st. We're having a Derby themed wedding so we thought let's move it up to may. Wrong - firstly my MOH is pregnant and due that week. Secondly 2 of my girlfriends are getting married on derby day 2015. So we booked Halloween because we'd told everyone October. Fast forward 2 months and the fiance finally went "no!!!" So we paid a mild fee to push our date back to May 7, 2015. Also known as Derby Day. Learn from us - don't waste money on date moving fees. Push you're wedding farther away if it gives you the date you truly want.
- Do not buy one of those planners right away. Seriously don't do it - I bought one and started doodling in it. First I can't tell you where it is, and secondly I wrote everything in it for the 10/31/15 date that we're no longer using. Money wasted right there.
- Don't pick your Bridesmaids if your wedding is farther out than a year. Yea it's great to call and ask and squeal with joy. BUT - should you have a falling out with this girl or change jobs within the months leading up until 10-12 months before the wedding, you may end up with a Bridesmaid you don't want anymore. Callous? A little, but I've got a bridesmaid I used to work with and surprisingly our friendship has withered away since I switched jobs. Not for lack of trying - I've texted and invited her to lunch. But she hasn't responded - however she still likes all my Facebook posts. It's an odd situation.
- Don't rush to try on dresses - especially not until you've picked a venue. I found my dress already and we're still 15 months away from my wedding. But I definitely went early. I don't regret it at all, but my big thing was I wanted to wait till we found our venue. Imagine if I found a glitzy dress and we ended up getting married quietly outside. They probably wouldn't match that well. Wait until you have your venue and a general idea of decor or theme in mind. Then attack dress hunting.
- Do not book a rehearsal dinner immediately. If your wedding is a year away there isn't any rush honestly. We immediately started planning one and my Mother In Law jumped on the band wagon, but honestly we've already changed our mind. So don't pay any booking fees or accept any discounts at your venue until 5/7 months out. It's not the wedding it doesn't need to be a big production. We're going to let my parents throw a low country boil and relax at whatever home they rent for the weekend. No muss no fuss.
I hope these tips help you avoid spending some extra cash like we did. Wedding planning should be fun not stressful and if you're truly upset and freaked out by planning hire a planner. You should not hate the months leading up to the wedding or be so stressed out you eat an entire batch of cupcakes. Not good for the dress at all.